Dr. Football has not quite reached the Urban Meyer mode where I ask myself questions and then answer them.
(“Is Tim Tebow a good quarterback? No, he’s a great quarterback.”)
But I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately. Not all of them have simple answers.
• Back in the day, people used to say Danny Wuerffel was a product of the system. Why doesn’t anybody say that about any of Oklahoma’s quarterbacks?
• Is there any way the NCAA could give Notre Dame, like, 700 scholarships and let the Irish field a dozen different teams so that a lot of programs would get a chance to play different Irish teams at home to boost attendance? Tickets for the ND-Georgia game are going for the mortgage of a small home.
• Because the average point total of the top eight teams in the country last week was 53.5 points, can we have a mercy rule?
• Is there any way Saturday’s Mr. Two Bits could dress for the game and run one deep pattern just for fun? After all, Grant Holloway was a four-star receiver in high school.
• Are there multiple Gator fans out there who would give a kidney to help fund a Willie Taggart extension? Scott Stricklin? Albert?
• Which one of the members of the 1994 Gator team being honored Saturday will look the most like he can still play?
• Are Kash Daniel and Darnell Dockett related?
Yes, I keep myself awake at night with some of these questions. Those and songs that won’t get out of my head.
There is a need for clear thinking today because The Picks had another mediocre week going 6-4 for a 24-11 season total. And this week, there are actually real games to pick.
TENNESSEE AT FLORIDA: I’m sure Tennessee fans would love to get this game into the final minutes with a chance to win and, oh, wait, I forgot about the last two trips the Vols made to The Swamp. Callaway All The Way and The Heave To Cleve. Never mind. Florida, 34-21.
NOTRE DAME AT GEORGIA: Notre Dame was 1-for-10 on third downs last week against New Mexico. I repeat, New Mexico. That’s not going to cut it against the Doggies. The good news is that the Irish will be all but eliminated from the College Football Playoffs after this one. Georgia, 34-13.
AUBURN AT TEXAS A&M: We saw what a great defense can do to the Aggies and Kellen Mond (see: Clemson). This is a hunch, but I think it will be different at home. A&M, 24-19.
LSU AT VANDY: Talk about culture shock. Wait until the first Commodore fan points out (with his pinkie) that there are roaches on the table of an LSU fan’s tailgate. And he finds out they are crayfish. Of course, that would assume there will be any Vanderbilt fans at the game. LSU, 44-10.
OKLAHOMA STATE AT TEXAS: Oklahoma State has a running back named Chuba Hubbard who leads the nation in rushing. There, you learned something today. OK, I learned something today. Texas, 38-31.
CAL AT OLE MISS: It’s going to be rough for the Bears to travel across the country and then play a game that will start at 9 a.m. Pacific. Eh, might as well get used to it. Cal, 30-21.
MICHIGAN AT WISCONSIN: A must-win game for Michigan this early in the season? Well, it’s better than a must-win game at the end of the season considering coach Jim Harbaugh’s track record. Michigan, 28-23.
LOUISVILLE AT FSU: You heard about the little boy who started a lemonade stand to help pay Taggart’s buyout? Maybe lemonade will solve the hydration problem in Tallahassee. FSU, 29-25.
KENTUCKY AT MISSISSIPPI ST.: The Wildcats may have a hangover after that tough loss to Florida. Lord knows the UK fans I saw in the airport Sunday morning did. (So did some media boys, but I digress). Miss. St., 27-21.
SOUTH CAROLINA AT MISSOURI: Man, Will Muschamp’s sideline cussing last week reminded me of a scene from GoodFellas. Missouri, 35-23.
Contact Pat Dooley at 352-374-5053 or at firstname.lastname@example.org. And follow at Twitter.com/Pat_Dooley.