Open your eyes with 'Love Him'

Published: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 at 2:33 p.m.
Last Modified: Wednesday, November 20, 2013 at 2:33 p.m.

The man you love obviously speaks a different language than you.


“Love Him or Leave Him But Don’t Get Stuck with the Tab” by Loni Love, c. 2013, Simon & Schuster, $24, 256 pages. (The Associated Press)

How else do you explain that you can see the fool's lips move but you can't understand a single thing he says when he says you are the only one for him, he was at his Mama's (‘til 3 a.m.), and he looooves you?

Maybe it's time to leave him. Then again, maybe not — you can't decide. Or maybe you need real advice, which you will find in "Love Him or Leave Him But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab" by Loni Love.

When Love was a teenager, she had a BFF named Peaches who had poor taste in men: Peaches was sure her "businessman" boyfriend was successful; Love knew he was slinging crack. She tried to warn her friend, but one night, Love heard gunshots and soon afterward, she did Peaches' hair one more time — for her funeral.

Peaches' death taught Love that too many women sacrifice too much to be with a man. And so when Love decided to leave an engineering career to become a comedian, she made it her "personal mission" to remind women to put themselves first.

Love says she enjoys going on first dates because they're great opportunities to gather information and get a free meal. After the first date, she says, move forward cautiously and be prepared.

Learn the only reasons for giving a guy a second chance. Get advice on dealing with his Mama, his kids, his kids' Mama, and his friends. Memorize Love's "Signs of a Faithful Man," so you know when he's not.

There are really two reasons to love "Love Him or Leave Him But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab." It is funny, No. 1. And No. 2, although some of the advice is meant in jest, most of it is quite useful.

There's no wallowing in man-misery allowed when you're reading this book. Author Love speaks bluntly and truthfully while advocating that women stand up for themselves, take back their strength, and stop being wimpy.

If you are dating, mating, situating, procreating, or tired of the relationship drama, then this book may give you what you need to get your mojo back. If that's you, then grab this book because "Love Him or Leave Him But Don't Get Stuck with the Tab" speaks your language.

Terri Schlichenmeyer lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 11,000 books.

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