No bye week for The Picks


Published: Friday, October 25, 2013 at 6:01 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, October 25, 2013 at 12:23 a.m.

While Will Muschamp is grinding out the hours trying to solve the problems his football team is dealing with (the solution — platinum ACLs for all players), he must be longing for his days in the NFL when you could make a phone call and add to your depth.

And he must have daydreamed when he heard about the St. Louis Rams calling 44-year-old Brett Favre to see if he was interested in a comeback.

“Nancy, get you-know-who on the phone.”

“He’s on line one coach.”

“Timmy! Timmerino! The Timmster! How’s it going pal?”

“Pretty good, Mr. Muschamp. It’s just hard not to have football right now.”

“Well, Tim, I have a plan that can help us both. Why don’t you come back and play for the Gators again? You know how people love you here. Even if it doesn’t work, they’ll cheer for you. I know it’s been awhile for you and you’ll have to learn our playbook, but it’s not that complicated. If you can hand off and throw one-yard passes, you can handle it. No matter what happens, we promise not to take your statue down.”

Alas, the NCAA has rules about these kinds of things. But a man can dream, can’t he?

Dr. Football must have been dreaming last week. After so much success, The Picks were caught up in the SEC upset machine. As a result, a dismal 4-6 record put a black mark on a great season.

To make matters worse, a reader pointed out a math error in my overall record and it’s now at 63-17. Thanks a lot, pal.

The Gators are off this week but Dr. Football presses on.

South Carolina at Missouri: I had a dream this week that Steve Spurrier showed up at a golf course where I was playing and told me he was retiring at the end of the season. And I went and got my computer to write it. But by the time I got it and went to a room with some privacy, he was on ESPN making the announcement. I have to quit eating salsa before bed. South Carolina, 23-21.

Tennessee at Alabama: Nick Saban is upset fans are leaving Alabama’s blowout wins early. Seriously, Nick, does a week go by where you’re not upset about something? Next week it’ll be that the NCAA only allows six points for Tide touchdowns. Alabama, 38-23.

Vanderbilt at Texas A&M: Johnny Manziel’s arm was in a sling this week. That has a lot of important people concerned. They want to know if it’s the arm he uses to sign autographs. Texas A&M, 42-24.

UCLA at Oregon: Big story here is the expected return of De’Anthony Thomas, because Oregon was really struggling on offense without him. Oregon, 50-24.

N.C. State at FSU: Clemson last week, Miami next week. This would be a perfect trap game except for what happened last year. FSU, 42-10.

Wake Forest at Miami: Stuart Mandel of SI.com points out Miami was actually helped by the long investigation because so much changed with the NCAA during the last two years and they went easy on the U. So there, ’Cane fans. Miami, 54-23.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma: Did I mention that Florida’s bye Saturday should be considered a national holiday? I should be about two bowls of chili into the day for this game. Oklahoma, 23-20.

Stanford at Oregon State: The Beavers were given up for roadkill on opening day, but now find themselves playing a huge Pac-12 game. Stanford, 31-23.

Penn State at Ohio State: I have no idea how good Ohio State is, but I know how good the Buckeyes’ coach is. Ohio State, 27-17.

Utah at USC: Two 4-3 teams with tons of injury issues. Sound familiar? USC, 17-13.

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