Dan Taylor: Put Sophie and Dolly on the ticket
Published: Thursday, October 11, 2012 at 11:02 a.m.
Last Modified: Thursday, October 11, 2012 at 11:02 a.m.
As a concerned citizen, I have pondered the many assets at hand to determine who is best able to run this country and keep America at the top where it belongs. I look around and see a wealth of talent! Even here in the secluded environs near the Suwannee River , the possibilities are endless.
Take for example, Sophie and Dolly. We need civil discourse in this nation and Sophie's genteel disposition suits her perfectly to run this nation. Sophie is constantly on patrol and Dolly cast a wary eye on "guests." Her foreign policy acumen is outstanding. She treats friends like friends and intruders like, well, intruders.
The above mentioned qualities will no doubt assuage our national peril. If the fate of Big Bird and Elmo determine our fate, then among President Sophie Taylor's first great achievements will be appointing Dolly as Secretary of State. By Golly, Dolly can handle the UN and all mischief makers who may want to kill our ambassadors!
They do not speak English, and being females, accommodate our zeal for diversity. There can be no doubt, Sophie and Dolly can straighten out his mess. The national debt, surpassing $16 trillion, an oppressive society under constant surveillance, threats from within and without no regard for the Constitution make our Yorky Shit-tsu's better qualified than most candidates.
After all, a few Kiddles and Bits for a salary and cleaning up a little dog poop is a small price to pay compared to the national debt, and it will increase the employment rate! It is a no-brainer!