Nothing surprises me anymore

Published: Friday, October 12, 2007 at 6:01 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, October 12, 2007 at 12:00 a.m.

The way this season is going, it makes me want to channel Johnny Carson just to hear him talk about this "weird, wild stuff."

But maybe it's time for everyone to quit being stunned and start expecting the craziness.

I know. I know.

South Florida and Boston College in the top five?

The possibility of a USF-Cal national title game?

Ron Zook being the hot coach in the country?

Weird, wild stuff.

But it may be where we're headed in college football. Really, does anything surprise you anymore?

OK, Stanford beating Southern Cal was absolutely mind-boggling. I think it was bigger than Appalachian State's win over Michigan because at least the Mountaineers knew how to win. But it also goes to show that there is no light switch to be turned on and off. Instead, you have to tape it to the "on" position for every game.

Even though there should be nothing that shocks you in college football, we still were handed a lot of weird, wild stuff this week that had nothing to do with the genius of Dave Wannstedt going for the win against Navy Wednesday night, then throwing the ball on a team that could not stop the run.

For example, how bizarre was it to hear:

* That Joe Paterno was involved in a road rage incident and that the driver was not a Big 10 referee?

* That they exhumed the body of Notre Dame legend George Gipp for DNA testing? New Irish motto - Dig one for the Gipper.

* That Florida State's starting quarterback missed a practice because of academic issues?

The point is (yes, there is too a point) that I am not to be blamed because the Picks are struggling. It's college football's fault. The Picks are simply following the trend. After another 6-4 week, the record is 38-22 for the season. To quote legendary speaker Mike Gundy, "It makes me want to puke."

But this is a special week, the bye week for the Gators, which allows me to spend the necessary time observing teams from across the country. It also allows me to consume mass quantities of food under the excuse, "Honey, it's my only Saturday off during the season. Can't you make me another batch of tater skins with extra sour cream?"

That's right. It's the real Gut-Check Saturday.

LSU (6-0) at Kentucky (5-1)

Remember when Les Miles was first coaching at LSU and he looked like a deer in the headlights on the sidelines? Now he's going for it on fourth down and calling for fake field goals.

There is only one explanation - he knows he's heading to Michigan when the season is over.

LSU, 42-28.

S. Carolina (5-1) at N. Carolina (2-4)

North Carolina fans - are you ready for this? - are still mad at Steve Spurrier for running up the score when he was the head coach at Duke in 1989.

To which Spurrier responded, "Anybody who ever accuses Duke of running up a bunch of yards or the score on them ought to be embarrassed."

My sentiments exactly.South Carolina, 34-21.

Georgia (4-2) at Vanderbilt (3-2)

Dogs, you killed me last week. I fell for the Mark Richt on the road hype and the Tennessee's miserable defense talk.

The Bulldogs looked so bad that Vanderbilt immediately scheduled them for Homecoming. Bad Dogs.Vandy, 23-21.

Georgia Tech (3-3) at Miami (4-2)

Let's see, Tech won, then lost, then won, then lost. College football may be crazy, but you can always count on the Jackets' inconsistency under Chan Gailey.Tech, 19-14.

UCF (3-2) at South Florida (5-0)

The Bulls are not going undefeated but I don't think the derailment comes during the "Bore on I-4."USF, 35-19.

Alabama (4-2) at Mississippi (2-4)

I promised a friend of mine that I would not write anything bad about Nick Saban this week and instead concentrate on the Crimson Tide football team.

Hmm. I see here that Terry Grant, who is averaging 6.2 yards a rushing attempt, got three carries last week. And Alabama struggled to beat Houston.

No comment.Alabama, 24-23.

Tennessee (3-2) at Miss. State (4-2): Another couple of examples of weird, wild stuff - Tennessee loses by 39 in its first SEC game and is now in control of the East. And MSU has lost two quarterbacks but is still just two wins away from bowl eligibility.

Wacky.Tennessee, 28-9.

Texas A&M (5-1) at Texas Tech (5-1)

Did you see that A&M coach Dennis Franchione received a "letter of admonishment" from the school because of his pay-per-view newsletter? If he does it again, he'll get a "letter of rebuke" and a "stern scolding." Third time and it's the "paragraph of really, really harsh language."

Oh, and you're fired.Tech, 54-28.

Auburn (4-2) at Arkansas (3-2)

There are comparisons between the Razorbacks duo of Darren McFadden and Felix Jones to Auburn's former stud backfield of Ronnie Brown and Carnell Williams. Except Auburn's coach wasn't fired after the season.

Auburn, 27-10.

Missouri (5-0) at Oklahoma (5-1)

Oklahoma is 50-2 under Bobby Stoops at home. Missouri last beat the Sooners in Norman the same year Steve Spurrier won the Heisman. Missouri was 6-0 last year and finished 8-5. I'm giving you these relevant stats to make you understand what a bold pick this is.

Missouri, 35-31.

Contact Pat Dooley at 352-374-5053 or

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