Skip 'Blood and Chocolate'


Published: Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 6:01 a.m.
Last Modified: Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 1:15 a.m.
When a guy finds a girl attractive, the amount and severity of faults in her he's willing to tolerate is astounding.
She's cruel? Doesn't matter if she's hot. A criminal? Doesn't matter if she's hot. Grows fangs and fur and is part of a werewolf clan that's trying to kill you? Wait a second ... Nah, doesn't matter if she's hot.
"Blood and Chocolate" tests the limits of what graphic novel writer Aiden (Hugh Dancy), an American visiting Romania, is willing to put up with to be with werewolf babe Vivian (Agnes Bruckner).
Is the world ready for a werewolf-human romance? Perhaps, but this werewolf-human romance isn't quite ready for the world. Director Katja von Garnier's adaptation of Annette Curtis Klause's novel is as dull as watching werewolf hair grow.
Not that we get to watch werewolf hair grow in the film. In the history of the genre, this has to be the laziest portrayal of lupine transformation.
Humans leap into the air in slow motion and glow yellow, and when they land they're instantly werewolves. Even the cheesy stop-motion of "The Wolf Man" (1941) seems plausible by comparison.
To be fair to Aiden, Vivian isn't exactly forthcoming about her supernatural alter ego when they meet - that kind of thing tends to be a downer on dates.
Nor does Vivian spill that she's the prophesied future leader of the werewolf pack and is the promised bride to the current leader Gabriel (Olivier Martinez). As you could imagine, werewolf overlords aren't too kind about dudes hitting on their women. To make matters worse, Vivian's overprotective cousin, Rafe (Bryan Dick) bares his fangs.
Von Garnier tries and fails to copy the Eurotrash sensibilities of "Blade" - the werewolf kids are big on the club scene - and ends up with a gory bore.
Occasionally there's some unintended comedy, such as the part where a werewolf actually says grace before he's about to chomp into a man's neck.

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