Don't be desperate to find a mate

Published: Thursday, January 4, 2007 at 10:04 a.m.
Last Modified: Thursday, January 4, 2007 at 10:04 a.m.

Q: I moved to Gainesville from New York for my job about six months ago and have been very frustrated by the lack of a professional scene. All of the men I meet seem to be unmotivated and have at least two "baby mamas." Where can a young woman go to meet a nice man in Gainesville?

A: Since I'm married, I am going to say I don't know. In all seriousness though, I would have to say that it depends on what you are looking for.

Believe it or not, Gainesville is not the worst place from a relationship perspective. I'm from Jacksonville and I met my husband, who is from Gainesville, here in Gainesville.

As I have said to others who have written with similar questions, be cognizant of where you are looking for love.

If you are looking for a man at a club or party, you probably won't find someone who is looking for a committed relationship because he is there to see and be seen. So be careful.

I believe that you are destined to find roses on a rose bush, but also destined to find garbage in a trash can.

Further, the only men you will find when you look for them are the ones who are standing around. A motivated man is not going to be easily found because he's on the move.

So, relax and stop looking. Men can smell desperation from a mile away, so don't be so anxious to find one.

There are many match-making services that claim to hold the answer to your love life problems for one low price of $29.95. If you think this situation is serious enough to call for professional help, by all means, go ahead.

But, I would recommend that you just enjoy the freedom of singlehood. Take some trips with your other single friends or take up a hobby.

Believe me, when the time is right, you will meet someone. But until then, focus on yourself and enjoy the life that you have. The grass is not always greener in a relationship depending on who you end up with.

There are many great community service organizations that could use the help of a motivated, intelligent and ambitious young lady and you never know.

You might meet Mr. Right while serving the less fortunate. That's a double blessing.

Got a relationship question? E-mail Jones is a motivational speaker in the North Central Florida area. Visit for more information.

Reader comments posted to this article may be published in our print edition. All rights reserved. This copyrighted material may not be re-published without permission. Links are encouraged.

Comments are currently unavailable on this article

▲ Return to Top