Get `em while they're hot

Published: Saturday, January 24, 2004 at 6:01 a.m.
Last Modified: Friday, January 23, 2004 at 5:38 p.m.

Usually, I don't know what the hell I'll be doing in the next few hours. Concerts are a different story.

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Planning your personal entertainment schedule can be a tricky ordeal, with things popping up at the last minute, screwing up those beautiful plans. Fear not, for Uncle Kyle is here to help. I've got the next 2 months all taken care of for you crazy kids.

Now, this might be my small brain talking, but Market Street is pulling out the lord of all trump cards on Jan. 26: The Suicide Girls Burlesque Tour. Okay, so Towers of Hanoi and Bloom will be playing, but I'll say what no one else will. Who cares? For those of us who are familiar with this gift from the heavens known as, we know this night is all about amazingly beautiful, tattooed, pierced women. Guys, bring your drool cups.

Okay, so after you shoot your wad.of cash at the Suicide Girls show, it's time for more mysoginistic action down at Eddie C's on Feb. 6. The UF women's rugby team will benefit profusely from the dollars spent at the 2nd Annual Women's Puddin' Wrestling Match. Unlike Market Street's flesh fest, Eddie makes no illusions of this being a concert. I have to warn those ladies who have yet to enjoy the redneck-ish environment that is Eddie C's: wear a padlocked bra and be prepared to hear "Take it off!" about 85 million times.

February also brings two groups of special interest shows.

Old-school fans of multiple disciplines will want to make the trip up to Jacksonville next month for the Cyndi Lauper and Modest Mouse shows. From the 14th to the 20th, these two groups will be making their way about the state in classic fashion. Sure, you may have to put down a few scenesters at Modest Mouse, and a couple middle-agers at Cyndi Lauper, but it's well worth the effort on both accounts.

Taking people down will be standard fare at the hardcore punk shows of the semester. The Casualties will be making their first G-ville appearance in 6 months down at Eddie C's on Feb. 22, bringing along A Global Threat, The Briggs and still-my-favorite-local-punks, The Horror. Old-style punks The Virus will also be making a stop at Eddie C's on Mar. 25. Now, if you think you can just see them next time, think again. This will be the last tour The Virus will ever do. The Unseen will be in tow on this monumental show, as well as our local flagship of old-school punk, The Monistats.

So, kids, that's the story. Mark your calendars and bring your friends. And if you see your Uncle Kyle down at the show, don't hesitate to buy him a drink at the bar.

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