This ID is a fake!

Published: Tuesday, January 6, 2004 at 4:13 p.m.
Last Modified: Tuesday, January 6, 2004 at 4:13 p.m.

You are not 21 years old yet, honey, what's the rush? Why are kids today so quick to grow up? They can't seem to wait even a couple of years until they are of legal age to drink alcohol. Instead they go and fasten these fake ID's. Do they realize this is illegal, you could get in trouble! Think of that next time you try to go out to a bar and have a "good time" with your buddies.

For those of you who have tried to use fake ID's before at a bar, restaurant or gas station, you know how tough those bouncers and clerks can be. Even the hard working gas station attendant has taken time out of their grueling training period to be educated on how to recognize a fake. They know their stuff. Don't think your going to get anything by these guys, cause your not.

Even if you have an awesome look-alike ID, even if it is your sister that could easily be mistaken as your twin, even if your mom couldn't tell you and your ID apart, these people can and will.

Don't think that they are just going to ask you your age and birth date. They need better verification than that. They have thought of bigger and better ways to catch you law breakers.

What's your zodiac sign? Huh, don't know punk? You're gone.

They've got lots of tricks up their sleeves. What year did you graduate from high school? What's your middle name? How tall are you? What year are you in college? What part of New York did you live in?

And you better answer quick, no hesitation.

I have even heard of an especially sneaky bouncer who asked a kid who walked up to a bar with a bunch of friends if all the guys he was with were his friends, he said they were, and the bouncer turned to one of the friends and asked him what the guy's name was. Stunned, the friend didn't know his fake ID name and gave him away.

If you're using a fake ID you better be ready for anything they throw at you. If you can't recite everything that is on that fake, you shouldn't be using it.

If I were to use a fake ID, I would have to know every bit of information on that ID. I would walk up to that bouncer with confidence, stare him in the eye, and not let him intimidate me. Nervousness and eye contact are the first indicators of illegal activity.

Stand tall; be ready with every questionable thing on that ID. I don't look 6 foot 9? Oh, I'm not standing up straight. I was actually wearing these really tall heels when I took that picture. I know my eyes don't look blue right now but in different light.

But I would never use a fake ID. It's wrong, it's immoral. Just wait until you're 21 to drink. Drink a soda instead. Never underestimate the fun you can have on a caffeine high.

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